Are You Brave Enough To Remove Your Mask?
26/2024
Have you ever noticed that most people go on dates trying to guess what qualities the other person likes and then pretend to have those qualities? They may think the other person would be interested in someone outgoing, or who likes to read, or maybe someone who likes to dance, or who is into fitness, and so they show a false interest in those things for a while, hoping the other person would like them.
What they don't know is that chances are the other person is doing the exact same thing at the same time! So now we have two people pretending to be someone they're not in order to be liked and neither one is sharing themselves authentically. Then they go through life as "I buy your BS, you buy my BS and we'll call that a relationship".
However, after a while, maybe years, the truth comes out and it becomes a painful experience for both. We have seen long-term relationships end because one was lying about not being registered for a political party, or another one because he was never into having children, or not really wanting to be monogamous, etc. The point is that they were pretending to be someone they were not. Can you imagine trying to build a safe and trusting relationship with that foundation?
Wouldn't it be easier to show up authentically exactly as we are? Would you be willing to share with another person your strengths and your flaws? Would you be brave enough to let them see your ugly side? Maybe even say something like "Here are the reasons why I think you won't like me: I spit every morning, I fart after certain meals, I'm not religious, I don't like coffee, and I am a morning person". What you'd be doing in this instance is allowing the other person to have a choice.
By pretending to be someone else, the other person never had a chance to know who you really are, and fall in love with the real you. Instead they became attracted to the character you made up, your avatar, someone who doesn't exist. What if instead they saw you, "flaws" and all, and then they were actually attracted to you? How would it feel knowing they love every aspect of you, and that what you considered flaws they didn't think were deal breakers? Like Harry Burns says in "When Harry Met Sally":
"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out.
I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich.
I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts.
I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes.
And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.
And it's not because I'm lonely, and it' snot because it's New Year's Eve.
I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
And what if it turns out they're not attracted to you? Good! Now you know that was not the right person for you, and you can keep looking. Instead of wasting time trying to force a relationship based on lies. Does it sound scary to let go of someone you like? Isn't it scarier to go through life knowing both you and your partner are pretending?
And here's the thing, most people do it all the time, and with everybody! Not just in dating, but when applying for a job, or with neighbors, at the store, with their Massage Therapist, etc. They just go from interaction to interaction, wearing a "Mask", or several, never revealing their true selves. Small talk and fake laughs simply to get a "Like", just like the ones we get in Social Media.
It is very rare to see someone out in public who allows themselves to be "seen". We have the privilege to witness of most of our clients' authentic selves, because we do our best to be a safe space for you to be vulnerable and open. When this happens we can see the beauty that lies under your scars, and we help you bring it out.
When you come to see us we are present to you and you only, we listen with compassion, we respect your boundaries, we honor your journey, we validate your experience, and we keep it confidential. This allows you to find the real reason you are here. Once you become aware of the masks you're wearing and how they're affecting your life, you can do the work to remove them. For as long as you're unaware, you won't be able to free yourself from them.
By shedding the past, the scars, the stories we've been living out of, we also shed the masks we hide behind. This is why Rolando shaved his beard off* and cut his hair after the cleanse he did in Spring. It was a symbol of the transformation he's been going through. So he removed the masks he had been living under to allow himself to be seen.
Have you identified the masks you wear? Are ready to free yourself from them? If you are ready for a New Life in 2025, one without masks, without playing a role, and ready to let yourself be seen, fully and completely, reach out. You can book your session, or if you are hesitant and have questions book your 30 minutes FREE Consultation.
*Rolando has grown his beard back, but because now it's cold outside.
In Ayni,
Ayni Holistic Healing
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