Sexual Healing.
04/2025
If you have been reading our blog entries, you know that we talk openly about everything. Well, it's time to go deeper. No pun intended. First let's address what sex is and isn't. Sex isn't just two bodies engaging in pleasurable physical activities. It is also an exchange of energies and a deep spiritual connection. Yes, even if it's casual or just a one night stand, there is an energetic and spiritual entanglement between the participants. Therefore, after a sexual encounter, each participant carries an imprint of the other person's energy in their LEF.
That means, that when sex is used as a weapon (as in the case of abuse), it can be quite harmful. Because, besides the physical, and emotional turmoil, the toxic energy of the abuser is now embedded in the abusee's energy field. However, sex is also healing, when it is done with good intentions, and generating a good experience for both participants. We'll go back to this in a moment.
That being said, do you believe that good sex is possible for everyone, with anyone? In theory the answer is yes, it is possible in the realm of infinite possibilities. For everyone because we are all capable of experiencing pleasure, ecstasy, and climax. And with anyone, because anyone is capable of delivering such an experience.
However, not everyone is willing to be either the giver or the receiver of such an experience. There are many people who feel that sex is taboo, that it is an impure act, and that we become tainted by it. For them even this email is challenging to read. Thus, the sexual act carries a sense of guilt and/or shame, which makes it impossible to fully enjoy the experience. And they might do it just because they "have to", they may even pretend to enjoy it, just to make their partner feel good.
There are also many people who are carrying trauma from their past and they feel shame around it, so they feel "broken" or "damaged", and unworthy. This blocks any pleasurable feeling in their body. It is as if they can't feel their body, unless there's a strong stimulus, such as pain. People like this tend to get many tattoos or piercings on their bodies, if they get a massage it must be very deep and painful. This allows them to feel something, otherwise they're disconnected from their body. And if they're not having good sex, they deep down believe "it must be because I don't deserve it". And eventually give up on the whole idea and think it's just not meant for them.
So with this in mind we work with people who want to recover from addiction, by addressing that which they're trying to avoid. Because that's where the healing needs to take place. Once this happens, they will no longer need to avoid it, and the tactic becomes moot.
For people who feel this way, sex would need to be aggressive, painful, and/or may need to involve the use of devices which would induce pain. However, it doesn't have to be this way. After healing the past experiences they've been carrying, they reconnect with their body, they begin to feel even light touch, and their sexual sensations become heightened. So, their sexual activities no longer require pain, and they begin to enjoy sex even more than before, and they can explore higher realms of pleasure. - with the occasional spanking.
On the other hand, other people are so focused on their own experience that they have no intention of paying attention to their partner's level of enjoyment. It is completely oblivious to them that the act of sex involves another person, and that their partner's experience is also important. So they only do whatever feels good for themselves. At the end they feel satisfied and go to sleep, while their partner is dissatisfied and may need to use other means to achieve the intended goal.
And on this end there are also those who carry past trauma as well, and the way they handle it could be by causing pain to their sexual partners. They tend to be aggressive and get enjoyment out of hurting their partners, regardless of whether the partner enjoys that or not. It's as if they were out for revenge. And unfortunately, these are the people who are least likely to be willing to heal and be givers of good sex, because 1. they're getting their needs met, and 2. they don't see the value of giving their partner great sex as being worth the discomfort of the healing process.
Let's add to that the predatorial mentality that exists in our society, where sex is like a competition. Each person looking out for the highest possible number of partners. And in order to achieve it they feel they must conquer the opposite sex. So it becomes a hunter vs prey activity, where one manipulates, lies, coerces or uses force to satisfy their needs, and the partner then feels disrespected and taken advantage of. In situations like this, we must realize that this is the environment in which we live, and we need to heal to be able to step out of that collective mentality in order to move into mutually respectful encounters. As we do this individually, then society begins to shift with us.
So then the answer to our initial question is that yes, it is possible for everyone to have good sex with anyone, however not everybody is ready for it. If they were willing to do the work to heal their past traumas and beliefs around sex, they would be able to enjoy sex fully, both in what they give and what they receive. The freedom they would experience would allow them to be fully present to their own bodies and their partner's experience at the same time. They would be able to feel all the physical sensations, the energetic exchange, the intimate connection and the spiritual entanglement of the moment.
Sex would then become not just a moment of physical pleasure, or a notch on a bedpost, but a deep and intimate powerful experience shared between two people who become one, who create a connection that transcends the physical realm. This is the "good sex" that is possible, for everyone, with anyone, who is willing to heal their past. This is the type of sex that can also be a powerful healing experience for both participants! Because it generates a powerful, creative, healing, life giving energy that give people that "glow" that others notice.
That being said, we're not advocating having multiple sexual partners. Like we said in the beginning, each sexual intercourse leaves an energetic imprint of the partner in our LEF. So, actually, it would be a good idea to be mindful about whose energy we get involved with. And we always recommend having a Cord Cutting session for each sexual partner.
Lastly, we believe that there are people with whom we can create a loving, deep, and intimate connection, and with them we can experience sex in such a powerful way, that it's not just good, it's galactic! Each little contact feels like every cell in your body has been craving that touch for a long time, and a chemical reaction begins to take place. Like molecules collide with sufficient energy and proper stimulation and are ready to burst, that even your body parts hurt to feel united with their body. These are what we call a perfect match, a level of compatibility that is incomparable to anyone else. That's your unicorn. And when you find them, you better not let them go. This is the person you will create magic with... not just in bed... the reason there's an energetic and spiritual entanglement during sex, is to generate a powerful creative force to give life to something... even to manifest your Wildest Dreams!
In Ayni,
Ayni Holistic Healing
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